What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why do boobs of some girls bounce when they walk?

{RING} {RING}

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

After a few moments he returns.

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What are some interests in sharing pictures of wives?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Sure no problem officer.

HELLO

How can someone feel more FTM when AMAB?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Yes sir it is.

What are 50 random facts about yourself?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.